Sparse: Toilet

I shouldn’t have been up this late into the station’s night cycle, but I was new to Allkhanna and still not quite in sync with it. I’d been taking advantage of the relative quiet to work on a project, but now a call of nature was pulling me out of flow.

I pinged the computer for the nearest relief facility. The station lit up a path on my mental map and I followed it to a largish circular room lined with stalls neatly labelled with the various traditional icons of a couple dozen of the population’s most common toilet analogues.

Now, if you know me, you know I’m a bit of an explorer. (And if you don’t know me — hi, I’m Sparse, and I’m a bit of an explorer.) And for an explorer, even small things like relief facilities demand exploration — and there were a few doors here I didn’t recognize.

I went up to an unfamiliar stall at random, whose symbol was something like a letter A with its lower opening filled in, and opened the door with a touch.

The small space housed a basin made of green-colored wood with a high back, kind of reminiscent of some human urinals I’d seen, but more clearly designed to be sat in.

The biggest hint to this was that it was, in fact, currently being sat in. My nomenclator popped up introductory data on my mental display, just the bare minimum that were transmitted in a place of privacy to convey that I was looking at a person:

— First meeting —
Addressed as: Toilet
Referred as: it/it

It was a reddish-brown amorph, roughly about the size of my torso, with tendrils hanging over the edge of the basin in a lazy way. Though clearly not a solid being, it looked like it had a consistency more like damp clay than the loose slime I’d usually seen amorphs to have.

I was intrigued, though, at its preferred form of address. Usually one would see something more like a title or honorific — mine said ‘Teacher’ — in the spot where it had only given ‘Toilet’. I knew on many planets living creatures had been adapted for this purpose, but sapient ones?

The toilet started tapping on its basin in an irregular rhythm, which my translator picked up as language: 『Do you need relief, Teacher?』

I did.

I unzipped the front of my fly, but the toilet reached out a few tendrils to grip my pants and pull them down altogether, though I tried to keep them up. “I don’t need to — ”

It withdrew its tendrils to tap on the basin again. 『You take a seat.』 It wasn’t a command; it was just telling me that was how itself worked.

“Ah, of course. All right.” I kicked off my sandals and stepped out of my pants, and climbed into the basin seat, my low-hanging balls squelching into the reddish-brown muck that constituted the stranger a moment before my bare rump did.

I felt the intimate contact required a bit more formal of an introduction, so I nomenclated out my name and species. With a gesture that translated as a mildly amused smile, I received the corresponding information in return.

Native name: ⠞⠄⠽
(Confirmed Translation: Bright-discovery)
Species: ⠉⠁⠁⠛
(Preferred Translation: Hungryfriend)
(Reference Translation: μ-TJR Tuc’s Α17-native, #3)

The hungryfriend engulfed my lower body up to my navel and knees with its warm, clayey texture — thicker than mud, yet flowing freely under the amorph’s control. I tried to remember μ-TJR Tuc’s Α17’s common name to see if I knew who the toilet was here for, but was distracted as Bright-discovery started going to work.

I would have squirmed as it started to squeeze me, but the toilet’s firm texture had me secured in place.

Gentle tapping. 『Relax and let it out.』

Despite the assurance, my hesitation only grew. What if my waste is poisonous to it? Ugh, or worse, what if it doesn’t like it?

But the pressure continued to slowly increase, the toilet embracing me tighter and tighter as though it were accustomed to squeezing its meals out of its patrons like condiments from a bottle.

In a brief flash of empathy I realized there was no clear answer here as to who was using whom.

The slimy muck that engulfed my dick had me in a mostly-aroused state already, so I knew it’d be difficult to release my piss at this point; instead I focused on moving my bowels.

The toilet’s pressure eased a little as my hole started to open up; the smooth clay that had pulled my buttocks apart and was ringing my asshole accepted the turd easily.

(Another slightly uncomfortable flash of insight and I realized what most of the hungryfriend I was sitting in must be made of.)

I started to bear down a little more, but my concentration was interrupted by a knock at the door and an irregular rumble that translated to 『Hey toilet, your door’s locked.』

My eyes widened in surprise as Bright-discovery stretched out a tendril towards the door — “Hey!” — but that was nothing compared to my panic as the rest of it surged up my body, the sludge engulfing me entirely and pulling me down into its surprisingly deep self before it let its usual patron enter.

The amorph was opaque, so I couldn’t see who entered the stall or get their name but I could easily hear them disrobing, their clothing or accessories clattering to the ground as they were shucked into a corner.

The toilet’s muck pressed between my lips, forcing my mouth open to keep me from protesting, and it squeezed itself harder around my dick.

Somehow, even being engulfed by a living toilet, I was rock hard.

Bright-discovery was compressed around me as its new user situated theirself, and its sludge undulated around me as its tendrils surrounded them.

There was a deep growl as the hungryfriend went to work squeezing its meal from its new patron, its internal motions massaging my whole body as it did. I couldn’t keep myself from grinding into the muck, eager to release more than just my waste into the toilet.

In its turn, though, it seemed to want more of that waste as well — it probed its way into my ass, the living sludge burrowing its way into me and rubbing itself along my inner walls in such a way that I couldn’t help but flood it with precum.

Squelching noises came from somewhere above me as the toilet’s user relieved theirself, and the amorph throbbed with enjoyment as it enjoyed two meals at once. 『What a bounty,』 it said, in pulsations private against my body. 『I should share. Hungry, friend Teacher?』

There wasn’t even enough time for me to notice that it was impossible for me to respond with a mouth full of the toilet’s muck before it was already too late — it opened up a channel through itself as soon as I had comprehended the translation, and the fresh waste of the stranger above me flowed in, sped along by the amorph’s peristalsis.

I struggled to not be sick on what my taste buds were telling me was something like clay mixed with vinegar and cardboard, smelling of ash and pepper.

My instinctive response was to flinch away, to gag on the rush of semisolid waste, to do anything but focus on the taste of what was being deposited on my tongue — but Bright-discovery pressed on, like a parent ready with a new spoonful of baby food even as the last one is spilling over the infant’s chin.

The toilet pressed the waste into my mouth, giving me little choice but to swallow it down. The scent and aftertaste lingered at the back of my throat; not the straightforward foulness I would have expected from a human, but a more difficult flavor, the way much alien stuff is, running as it does on entirely different sets of chemicals that human senses struggle to translate.

Oblivious to my reaction, the amorph fed me more, forcing more of the stranger’s waste into my muzzle by its distressingly intimate kiss. Its mass continued to work over my lower body, and despite everything, my dick was still hard in its embrace, responding to the intimacy of its probe deeper into me.

As another mouthful of alien scat was forced down my gullet, I realized that my air was getting scarce. The toilet had left my nostrils clear, but whatever was in the mix of its scent and its patron’s, my body couldn’t get any oxygen from it.

Helplessly I writhed in the muck, hoping to grab the attention of the stranger currently relieving itself into me, but Bright-discovery was holding me too tightly for any ripple of protest to reach them.

I didn’t know how much longer I could last, but my consciousness was already starting to fade as the amorph’s attention to my cock wrung an orgasm out of me that quickly expended the last of my breath.

I passed out, full of the toilet at both ends.

I woke up on the bathroom floor, a medical drone hovering over me. Muck from the amorph covered my body, and the taste of alien waste was still in my mouth — I couldn’t wait to get back to my quarters, shower, and floss.

“It’s not generally advised to use relief facilities not tailored for your physiology,” the drone said in its bland, computerized voice. I wondered what the doctor on the other end might’ve thought I was doing. “This accident will not immediately impact your health. Please pursue your hygiene routine to minimize the risk of microbiotic effects.”

Bright-discovery was leaning over the edge of its chair. My translator didn’t pick up any expression, but I gathered it was looking on in concern. 『I am glad you will be all right, Teacher. Until next time?』

I swallowed to clear my throat, coughing a bit. “Maybe,” I said, still trying to come to terms with the aftertaste in my mouth. “Maybe.”

Liked the story? Worth a coffee? https://ko-fi.com/muskwalker