A quiet evening in, listening to the rain and far-off thunder as I sat on my couch, eyes closed to bar any distraction as I practiced my telepathy.
The diviners had told me my powers lay elsewhere; something to do with mathematics utterly outside of any of my interests. But I wanted telepathy. Something about that intimate intermixing of minds, the sharing of thoughts and dreams and selves…
And no one ever said it was impossible. So I practiced.
I’d never made a full connection before, but I was sure I’d felt minds out there sometimes. Flashes of emotion — of solitude, of inquiry, of contempt — that came just in reach only to flutter from my mind’s reach in the space of a moment.
It was progress. It was encouraging. So I practiced.
Today, however, things were coming up dry. I was straining my mind to the limit and still couldn’t feel the touch of a thought; I shivered, feeling alone in the world.
But when I gave up and opened my eyes, he was standing in front of me.
‘He’ was all I could make out about him. A silhouette, a shadow, just a vague dark gray suggestion of someone with a masculine bearing.
“You were looking for me?” he said.
I faltered. “Um, not specifically. I was just…testing what I could do. I’m sorry I bothered you…”
The presence did not accept the apology; he only stepped closer, bending down to look me in the eye, or at least as close to that as a featureless form could manage. His voice, when he spoke again, had the trace of a smirk in it.
“Oh…have we been dabbling?” There was a movement in the shadow that looked like the swish of a tail. “Haven’t you been told how dangerous that is?”
His voice was not at all pleasant; there was a touch of a whine to it, that inflection you find in people who get their way all the time by being petty.
“It can’t be that dangerous,” I said, though I was less sure as I said it.
The presence laughed. “There are worse things than friendly neighbors out there, mousie. The world is full of monsters. And victims of monsters. And me.”
The shadow smiled, a visible smile, carnivore teeth prominent in an otherwise blank face.
“But by all means. Tell me I’m not dangerous.”
I wasn’t sure what was standing in my living room, but I could certainly tell it was not a good idea to be alone in a room with him.
I tried to get up from the couch, but was immediately shoved back down. He was quite solid now, not fully real yet but features still emerging — russet fur and white garbed in a gray robe, pointed muzzle, shining amber eyes, and a handful of tails swishing behind him: a fox spirit.
There are a handful of probabilities in the world that are so unlikely that you round them down to nothing. Having your house burn down while you’re at the grocery store. Struck by lightning at home. Dying at 20. And yet those things still happen; a low probability isn’t nothing, even if our primitive brains pretend otherwise to get through the day.
A demon finding its way into your living room is one of those one-in-a-million events that you don’t even think about preparing for.
I was unprepared.
A frosty touch at my throat cut my voice, and my yelp of distress was silenced.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “I can hear your thoughts still.”
Cruelty, I thought. The frosty touch moved upward, the fox’s paw turning spectral again and passing through my skull, rummaging in my head. What do I know about demons? Infinite punishment for any transgression, however slight; a hell built from your guilt, your fears, your —
There was a kind of click as the fox pulled something from my head, dropping it on the ground. “That’s no fun. You won’t need that.”
The chill touch entered my brain again. What do I know about demons? …‘Demons’? Did I hear that word in someone’s mind? Maybe I’ll look it up later.
My mind tingled with more click click click as the fox pulled more things out of my head. I wondered what he was doing.
“Just helping you relax. The ol’ ‘telling people not to fear’ doesn’t work as well as it used to. Don’t worry about it.” He smirked, and his touch changed temperature — somehow I couldn’t tell whether it was hotter or colder but it was uncomfortable. “Yeah, this might hurt a little bit.”
He pulled something out of his robe and fitted into my brain with a hefty-sounding chunk that made me queasy for a moment. So kind of this guy to help me out with a little brainwork.
Another chunk and my whole body convulsed as though I were in the middle of losing my lunch, but it passed almost immediately. My friend Kerbery has always taken such good care of me.
Chunk. Chunk. Chunk. I’m sure I remembered actually bending over and vomiting at this point, but that would have been impossible, as I also remember Kerbery finishing up in my head and sitting down on the couch beside me, solid again.
“There. You should be much more in order now. Time to try the telepathy again?”
That smirk of his never did go away. I always figured it was just a fox thing.
I shut my eyes and went into the place in my mind where I thought the power must be, and I thought hard about other minds.
And one was right there. My good friend Kerbery. His figure stood in my mind’s eye on a field of eigengrau and murky purple and I approached him excitedly. Kerb? Is that you?
Yes, it’s me. And then, through my ears and not my mind: “Yes, it’s me.”
Hell yeah! I thought, and his smirk widened with a soft laugh. What? What’s so funny, Kerb?
His image in my mind raised an eyebrow. His voice in my ear again: “You’ll see.”
I tried to solve the riddle, but couldn’t. What was he thinking? Why did —
Wait. Why can’t I tell what you’re thinking?
His voice was near enough to make my earfur shiver. “You’re not in my mind. You brought me into yours.”
I tried to pull back, to open my eyes, but my living body wouldn’t respond — only the avatar in my head stepped back away from Kerbery’s. I was watching this scene from outside now, like in a dream: in the shadow of the fox was myself, a small soft mouse, absolutely naked.
And there was another voice, off somewhere behind me — a gruff, masculine voice, but nevertheless a young one, though I couldn’t make out any words.
I reached out for his mind, willing myself to hear his thoughts, willing myself closer to him.
From the darkness in my mind’s eye he emerged, a burly gray wolf in a KCU jacket, looking me up and down with an expression that was immediately disdainful.
And despite clearly having contact with his mind, I didn’t know who he was or what he was thinking…until he said it out loud:
Why the fuck are you jerking off at me? he said, in a tone so rough I was surprised an f-word wasn’t spit out after it.
Of course I was more surprised to find that I was jerking off at him — my left arm working my cock so hard it was a wonder I hadn’t noticed before looking down.
And it wouldn’t stop.
Trying to still my paw didn’t work, trying to grab my arm with my other paw and pull it away didn’t work. It only got worse: I was drooling after him, I couldn’t stop staring, I was panting hard like I was about to climax, all while the wolf watched me with growing repugnance.
Oh, there you are.
Kerb appeared alongside us, watching the scene with that smirk of his.
What’s his problem? the wolf asked.
He’s just so happy to be making contact.
I couldn’t blame them for talking about me like I wasn’t there, because in an obvious sense I wasn’t. I couldn’t even speak.
Somewhere in the real world, Kerb’s paw grabbed hold of my dick and started stroking it. My avatar in the mindspace shivered, ready to unload all over this poor stranger who didn’t deserve it.
Help, I thought. Helpless in my mind, helpless in my body, I tried calling to another mind. Help!
More people emerged from the murk. An older tiger in a shabby T-shirt who burst out laughing as soon as he caught sight of me. A very fat hawk who averted his eyes, hiding behind his wing. An otter in a red dress who immediately focused on Kerb, watching him carefully as she waved a handpaw to make herself disappear back into the murk.
Kerb stroked my real cock harder while I squirmed helplessly in my seat, the sensation combining with what was going on in my head and pushing me over the edge.
In the real world my usual four shots of cum were striping my belly, but in mindspace I was blasting the crowd of strangers with mouse spunk like an obscene firehose.
In helpless panic I watched as my avatar turned to make sure everyone got painted with it, heedless of their reactions as I violated their dignity. I shuddered to think of meeting any of them in the real world, knowing they’d been in my head, knowing they’d seen everything. Would they call the police? Or retaliate with their own hands?
This had to stop. Kerbery! Help!
I felt the words and thoughts going nowhere again, even though my friend was right next to me — but still he reached down and took hold of my chin, giving me a smile. What was that again, mousie? he said. I couldn’t hear you.
Before I could answer, though, he went on, moving my mouth with his paw and making an imitation of my voice: Kerbery! Fuck me!
I was a little queasy again as he carried on this conversation with himself using this image of my body.
What? In front of all these people?
Kerb came closer, waving the helpless onlookers back a step as he stood behind me. Don’t worry. I’ll soon have him sorted out.
That smirk on his face. Foxes always have to look cunning for the crowd, don’t they? He wanted them to think he was patronizing me, but his arousal was prodding at my back through his robe.
He brought his muzzle to my ear and his whisper came to it only in the real world: “I’m already deep in your mind. But you want me deeper? Deeper inside you?”
A tantalizing touch on my spent cock brought it back to full stiffness despite just having unloaded it.
“I want to hear you say it.”
He didn’t even need to make the words for me. “Yes, yes!” Of course I wanted it. Kerbery would know what was best for me even if I wasn’t feeling hornier than I’d ever been.
Kerbery entered me.
Not with the cock I was hungering for — his whole body took its spirit form again and passed into me, filling my avatar and my mind.
There was so much of him, there was barely any room for me. My consciousness subsumed into his, a sensation that couldn’t possibly have felt like the pain of being dissolved alive in acid, because Kerb wouldn’t do that to me. That memory must have come from somewhere else.
No, Kerb felt good, so I must be feeling good. He was me now, after all. Something about that intimate intermixing of minds, the sharing of thoughts and dreams and selves…
Well, that was impossible, after all.
The dream world faded from Kerb’s mind, the cum-drenched onlookers dissolving into echoes I still think I hear sometimes.
Kerb awakened, looking at the thunderstorm out of the eyes of a small soft mouse with an irrepressible smirk on his face.
Such good fun, he thought, cleaning the cum off his belly.